Hamkawa!!

{Note: I felt like pooping once I started writing this. The nervous kind. I'm not used to writing my thoughts on the spot like this. Hopefully posting this entry will strengthen my bravery.}


Last night I rewatched the short Unicorn Blood by Alberto Vázquez because I'm 5 months too young to buy the movie Unicorn Wars for myself. I had found a few clips of the movie online but they didn't have subtitles so I couldn't understand or take anything out of it. The short was much more complete than the few clips I found and it even had subtitles! Perfect!

When I watched it for the first time I watched it like anything else. Astonished by its in-depth characters, intrigued by its visual artstyle, and confounded by its metaphors, the unicorns being tricky for me especially.
Now, usually, when I do anything I'm super tired which can affect my perspective on the media I consume because when I am tired, I feel like a completely different person. My mindset changes and I do not have the drive to do things the same way as I am awake.

This is me when I'm tired (which is most of the time):

Passive

Willing to give up

Sad or emotionally numb

Unaware

Cowardly

Messy

Unlikely to follow through with plans

Unable to critically think

unable to focus

sluggish

In need of more help (due to the 3 previous ones)

Socially concerned

Last night was different. I was sick of being tired. I had gotten tons of sleep the other day, so this feeling of wanting sleep was completely useless! I had plans for both enjoyment and work instead of watching garbage content like usual and I wasn't going to let them go to waste. Thus, I made THE CONCOCTION (one tall glass, 5 bags of black tea repeatedly cooked for all it's contents, water, and hot chocolate). Safe to say it had worked, and I never felt better than ever. My mindset became more solid and I once again felt different.

This is me when I'm awake:

Focused

Confident

Active

Hard working

Critical

Selfish

Vain of my mind and what I can do in the future

Self caring

Organized

Forward

Unsuffering

Fashionable

More knowing of what I like and SHOULD watch for both entertainment and studies. (Things that feel more fullfilling)

Less doubtful of self ( I don't just know I'm right, I FEEL like I'm right too.)

This new awareness had made look at unicorn wars from a different perspective (since I was then better at analysing) and I had realised something:

I relate to both Moffy and Gregorio because of these mindsets. Moffy being like my awake mindset and Gregorio being like my tired one. Note: This is not a multiple personality thing. I'd personally compare it to genderfluidity over being bigender. I only have one mind but it's mushy and it can change drastically depending on several factors. Not to mention I constantly belittle my tired side when awake and defend my tired side and try to explain myself when sleepy, making them constantly opposed against eachother.

Honestly analysing myself helps alot mentally and characters like this remind me of who I am as a person.
I forgot how I was going to end this. The tea is starting to wear off so uuuuh, yeah bye.

The first reason I came up with the idea that humans should be separated was because of their observed behavior around each other. Humans are highly intelligent, and like most intelligent animals (like otters or dolphins) they use this intellect for self-gratification or violence, whether it's 1v1 or on mass, someone somewhere is either attacking someone or wringing someone out until they have nothing to offer, even if they don't want to participate.

Just look at the news aligned to any bias or any popular prank "trend". There are bad people on all sides.

Ever wondered why every single fandom has a "loud minority"? Furthermore, why is it that whenever there are more people in a group (religion, fandom, and even political groups) it seemingly becomes more hostile to anyone outside its group or anyone who doesn't follow their normalcies? It's not a coincidence (nor is it minor, if there are fewer "toxic" people than them then why are the nicer ones the supposed "silent ones").
It's inevitable human nature.

You see we evolved from a species of apes called chimpanzees, these animals are extremely violent, especially when compared to other primates like the orangutan (who are very peaceful despite their strength). A specific behavior of the chimpanzee that I would like to point towards, is the fact that they actively hunt down the young of other primates. This is most likely to get rid of competition or to consume as much as they can (which I wouldn't doubt since they're animals who aren't very aware of the whole "consequences" thing") and may have carried over into us. Behaviors become culture, and culture slowly becomes ingrained over centuries or millennia. After all, we never stopped having wars or targeting others for being different (even if it's slight or harmless) have we?

What I'm trying to say is that the desire to or action of harming, hating, and irritating anyone who is slightly different from us may be ingrained into our blood. Our domestication of ourselves and mild cooperation with each other just aren't enough to make for the violence. It just covers it with a tiny bit of sunshine and rainbows (the same can ESPECIALLY be said for entertainment).

That's the problem with humans being social creatures. The human race is overly indulgent in desires, regardless of whether it is good for the individual and others, or not. If we rely on each other to make ourselves happy then we can end up stressing those who don't want to be involved or leave them be and stress ourselves if there are no other options. We need to strive to be self-reliant as a species, otherwise (this with overpopulation) can cause the same effects as the rat utopia experiments, exhausting and stressing eachother to the point of mass suffering and extinction.

Overindulgence also affects the landscapes around us, turning peaceful villages, beautiful forests, and even diverse and well-balanced cities into war zones, toxic areas, and cold dystopias.

Humans are also very slightly different from each other, from birth to memories and interests. In a way, it seems like we're completely incompatible with each other, yet we are still naturally social animals despite the risks. We are our own worst enemies. If we want to keep our individuality without being punished, we should stay away from each other and quell our social instincts, even if it's just a little bit for an elongated timespan, so we can eventually grow out of it or at least wait until the war is over and better manage ourselves.